Song Of The Psychopath Read online

  ‘Fruit?’

  ‘I really haven’t got much of an appetite.’

  ‘I could bring you a bar of chocolate. You used to like Dairy Milk.’

  Tommy shook his head. He’d tried a bowl of cornflakes earlier, and they’d tasted like soggy cardboard. The nurse had told him it was probably going to take a while to get used to food again after being in a coma. He’d attempted to eat a banana an hour before his family had arrived, but it had tasted and smelled like eggs. He didn’t remember whether he’d liked eggs in his former life, but he sure as shit didn’t now.

  Charlie rested a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. ‘I’m proud of you, son.’

  Why? For losing a year of my life and ending up with a broken head?

  Danielle dabbed at her nose with a tissue. She bent over and kissed the top of his head. ‘Love you.’

  What did he say to that? Love you, too? ‘Thanks.’

  The family of strangers ambled out of the room. His mother turned briefly in the doorway and waved.

  Tommy waved back. Rummaged in the black hole of his mind for one tiny thread of recognition. Nothing. Just a dark closed coffin.

  Rest in peace, Tommy Scarlett.

  Chapter Two

  Two days later, Tommy was visited by DS Sam Baker. He had a nervous twitch tugging at the corner of his right eye and a sniff that seemed to activate itself at the end of every sentence.

  He stood beside the bed, slightly stooped, his grey hair glistening beneath the overhead light. ‘How are you feeling, Tommy?’

  Not again. Christ, that’s all everyone seemed to ask. ‘Okay, I suppose.’

  Baker sat in the seat not long vacated by Tommy’s mother. ‘Doctor says you’ve had a pretty nasty bump on the head.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Fractured skull, I hear.’

  ‘So they say.’

  ‘You any idea how you came about those injuries?’

  ‘No.’

  Baker sniffed. ‘Understandable. Do you recall anything leading up to your injuries?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘We have on record you’ve been missing since September twenty-third of last year. Do you remember anything at all about that time?’

  Tommy shook his head.

  ‘Not a single day? Hour? Event?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What about prior to that? Growing up? School? Stuff like that.’

  ‘Nothing. It’s as if I woke up in here and it was the first day of my life.’

  ‘Your sister, Danielle, told me you had an argument the day you disappeared.’

  Tommy’s interest piqued. ‘What about?’

  ‘Apparently, you borrowed her hairdryer without permission.’

  ‘Is that it?’

  Baker referred to a notebook. ‘But things escalated, and she said you called her names and it got into a slanging match.’

  ‘And I disappeared because of that?’

  ‘Not exactly. She told you that you were adopted.’

  Tommy’s heart jolted. ‘Adopted?’

  Baker sniffed. ‘Don’t worry. She said it to wind you up. But you stomped off in a huff, and no one saw you again until the motorist found you lying in the road.’

  Tommy searched his mind for any hint of the argument, or where he’d buggered off to afterwards. Nothing. Just a picture of Danielle’s flame-red hair burning in his mind’s eye.

  ‘Can you think of anywhere you might have headed? A friend? Relative?’

  ‘I don’t remember nothing other than waking up here.’

  Baker scratched his ear. ‘We’ve examined the area where you were found. There appears to be some evidence you fell down an embankment.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Perhaps that’s how you sustained the head injury?’

  Tommy shrugged.

  ‘Maybe you were trying to run away from someone.’

  And maybe a great big bird picked me up and dropped me on my head.

  Baker leaned forward. ‘Has Dr Larkin spoken to you about your other injuries?’

  ‘My wrist and ribs?’

  ‘No. The scarring.’

  Tommy’s mind dived into a tailspin. ‘What scarring?’

  ‘It appears you have scarring across your back and your buttocks.’

  Tommy heard the words. Understood their implication, but his mind was unable to process this information. He stared at DS Baker, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. ‘What?’

  ‘There are also bite marks on your buttocks.’

  ‘What the fuck…?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Tommy. You’ve been through a major trauma. But perhaps telling you will help to trigger your memory.’

  Tommy’s head pounded.

  Baker sniffed. ‘We need to catch the person who did this to you. Lock them up before they do it to someone else.’

  No shit.

  ‘If it’s all right with you, I’d like one of my team to examine you and take some photographs of your injuries.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘To see if they’re deep enough to get an impression made of the bite marks. Could provide vital evidence in court.’

  Tommy closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead as if trying to erase Baker’s words. Having no memory was bad enough – but this? It was like falling into a deep hole, only to find a pit bull waiting at the bottom to savage you.

  Baker closed his notebook. ‘Okay. I’ll leave you to rest. If you remember anything, no matter how small, let me know.’

  Tommy didn’t acknowledge him. A strange buzzing sound now accompanied the thumping headache. His mind was filled with an image of a young woman. Pretty blue eyes and long blonde hair tumbling onto her shoulders. Pouting lips enhanced with dark-red lipstick.

  ‘You okay, Tommy?’ Baker asked.

  ‘Bella.’

  ‘Pardon me?’

  ‘Bella.’

  ‘Who’s Bella?’

  Tommy didn’t hear him as the girl danced, wriggling her hips, waving her arms in the air. Her leather trousers and black tee-shirt hugged her slender body.

  ‘Who’s Bella?’ Baker asked again.

  ‘She’s the belle of the ball,’ Tommy said.

  Baker scribbled in his notebook, occasionally glancing up at Tommy as he made notes.

  Bella grinned, mouth parted, tongue darting out and licking her lips seductively.

  ‘I know you,’ Tommy whispered. ‘I know you.’

  Bella blew him a kiss. The kiss fragmented and floated around inside his head. And then she was gone. No more gyrating body and enticing lips. Just a dark void.

  Baker lowered the notebook. ‘Tommy? Can you hear me?’

  His breathing slowed. His body relaxed. Peace settled over him. No pain. No turmoil. No memory.

  Baker laid his notebook and pencil on the bedside table and stood. He shook Tommy’s shoulder. ‘You okay, lad? You awake?’

  The detective’s words seemed to float up from a deep well inside him. He opened his eyes. Licked his dry lips. ‘Huh?’

  ‘You must’ve…’ Baker sniffed, ‘had a blank moment or something.’

  Pain crept across Tommy’s back, massaging his body with malignant fingers.

  After a few seconds, Baker said, ‘Do you know who Bella is?’

  ‘Bella?’

  ‘You said her name.’

  ‘Did I?’

  ‘Yes. Said she was the belle of the ball.’

  What the fuck does that mean? ‘I don’t remember.’

  ‘For what it’s worth, Tommy, I reckon you may have experienced a flashback. Remembered something.’

  Tommy thought he’d probably fallen asleep. ‘Oh.’

  ‘You’re absolutely sure the name Bella doesn’t ring a bell?’

  ‘No. I’m really tired. I want to go to sleep now.’

  Baker put his notebook and pencil in his jacket pocket. ‘Okay. That’ll do for now. Do you want me to send a nurse in?’

  Tommy shook his head.

  ‘If you remember anything at all,
let me know. I’ll pop by again in a couple of days to see how you’re getting on.’

  ‘Okay.’

  Baker sniffed. ‘At least you’ve got some privacy having your own room. I’ll see you later.’

  Privacy? Was Baker taking the piss? He felt like a goldfish in a bowl swimming around in circles, everyone gawping at him and asking him to remember things with his goldfish brain.

  Chapter Three

  Danielle visited later that morning, hair tied back in a ponytail, face devoid of makeup. Her pale complexion accentuated dark smudges beneath her eyes. She placed a brown paper bag on the tray and smiled. ‘I brought you some grapes.’

  Tommy summoned fake sincerity. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘How you feeling?’

  ‘I’m in a lot of pain.’

  ‘I’ll bet.’

  ‘I’m sorry I don’t remember you.’

  Danielle sat. Shrugged. ‘It’s not your fault, is it?’

  ‘It’s as if I’ve been dropped here from another planet.’

  ‘You still don’t remember nothing?’

  ‘Nope.’

  Danielle shook her head. ‘The mind’s bloody weird. I mean, how could it wipe out a whole year of your life?’

  ‘God knows.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll come back eventually.’

  Tommy thought about the detective’s description of his other injuries. Didn’t want it back. ‘Do you know anyone called Bella?’

  ‘Bella? No. There’s an Annabelle at work. Why?’

  ‘When the detective was here earlier, he said I said some shit about Bella and belle of the ball.’

  ‘Maybe you fell asleep. I sometimes have dreams when I think I’m still awake. There’s a name for it. Sleep paralysis, I think.’

  ‘At least it goes well with my mind paralysis.’

  Danielle didn’t seem to get his lame attempt at humour. ‘I can’t stop long. I’ve got to get the bus back to Feelham at one. Ginny’s covering my shift.’

  ‘Where do you work?’

  ‘Waitrose.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘It’s a supermarket in Feelham.’

  ‘Feelham?’

  ‘It’s where we live.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It’s by the river. Nice in the summer. You and your mates used to go swimming when it was hot. Mum was always telling you not to, but boys hardly ever listen to their parents, do they?’

  ‘And girls do?’

  Danielle smiled. ‘Mostly.’

  ‘How old are you?’

  ‘Twenty-one next January.’

  Tommy counted on his fingers. ‘So, you’re six years older than me?’

  ‘Yep. I remember when Mum brought you home from the hospital and said I had a baby brother. I was so pleased. I didn’t want a sister. I mean, not that I wouldn’t have loved her, but I really wanted a brother. And you were so cute.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I even fed you when you were a few months old.’

  ‘What did I eat?’

  Danielle giggled. ‘Not real food, silly. Milk formula ’cos Mum couldn’t breastfeed you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘She said her milk dried up.’

  ‘What’s Mum like?’

  Danielle tightened her ponytail. ‘She’s all right. Likes to have everything done her way. But she’s really kind, so…’

  ‘And Dad?’

  ‘He’s nice. Gets a bit angry sometimes, and he lost his job ’cos of the pandemic.’

  ‘Pandemic?’

  ‘It’s some sort of flu virus. We all had to wear masks everywhere and stay away from each other until they got the vaccine ready. But everything’s reasonably okay now, apart from those who refuse to have the jab. They’re not allowed into shopping centres or anything.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘In case they spread the virus.’

  ‘But if everyone else has been vaccinated—?’

  ‘I know it doesn’t make sense. Half the crap they come out with doesn’t.’

  Tommy edged up the bed. Considered his words carefully. ‘The detective reckons we had a big argument before I vanished.’

  Danielle looked away. ‘I’m sorry. I said some really stupid stuff. I didn’t mean nothing by it. If I could turn back time and start again, I would. I can’t even believe I said you were adopted. It’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever said in my life. I wanted to cut out my tongue just after you left.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘All over a bloody hairdryer.’

  ‘Do you remember what happened after the argument?’

  ‘You went to your room for a while. Slammed the door. Put some music on. A bit later you stomped downstairs and outta the house. I watched you from my bedroom window. You walked along Timber Street and turned right towards the bridge. And that was the last time I saw you.’

  ‘Did I have anything with me?’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘A bag? Suitcase?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘But where the fuck would I go?’

  ‘We thought you might have gone to Jordan’s, but Mum checked, and he hadn’t seen you.’

  ‘Who’s Jordan?’

  ‘Your best mate.’

  Great! Someone else now lying in the graveyard of his mind.

  ‘The police searched everywhere. You even made the local news. But it’s as if you’d been abducted by aliens.’

  ‘Maybe I was.’

  ‘I think you might’ve tried to hitchhike somewhere and got picked up by a nutter.’

  ‘But where would I be going?’

  Danielle shrugged. ‘You don’t need to worry about that right now. Just concentrate on getting better.’

  ‘So, apart from working at Waitrose, what else do you do?’

  ‘Nothing much. I go out clubbing sometimes with my friend, Holly. Go to the gym once a week.’

  ‘Do you still live at home?’

  ‘Yeah. Can’t afford to move out on my wages.’

  ‘Have you got a boyfriend?’

  ‘No. Me and Sam split up a few weeks after you disappeared. To be honest, I was a right bitch to be with, so I suppose it was for the best.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be. It was all my fault in the first place for winding you up. This whole bloody mess is down to me.’

  Tommy put his hand on hers. ‘Obviously, I don’t remember a thing about you, but I can see you’re a good person. I…’ His head suddenly filled with the sound of an ocean. Gulls cried in the distance. Waves crashed against the rocks in his mind.

  Danielle squeezed his hand. ‘Tommy?’

  His eyes rolled back, and his head swayed. ‘I am… I am… I am.’

  She released her hand from his tightening grip and stood. Hurried towards the nurses’ station fifty feet away.

  A voice spoke behind Tommy. A deep male voice, breathless and threatening. ‘Keep still, or I’m really gonna hurt you.’

  Tommy tried to move, but his arms, legs, and torso were restrained with rope. His face was pressed into a mattress, restricting his ability to breathe.

  ‘I said keep still.’

  Tommy stopped struggling; it was only making things worse. He had no idea where he was or who the voice belonged to. Possibly the Devil.

  ‘There are certain things you need to learn, Tommy. One of them is compliance. Understand?’

  Tommy attempted to speak, but the mattress made talking impossible. He bobbed his head.

  ‘Firstly, you will identify as Number Nine from now on. Okay?’

  Tommy nodded, nose and mouth filled with foam, heartbeat pulsing in his ears.

  ‘You will only answer to me. You are to obey all orders and carry out all tasks given. Always remember you belong to me now, Number Nine, and as long as you comply with my wishes, your time here will be bearable. Okay?’

  Tommy nodded.

  ‘Good.’

  A sharp stinging pain raked down Tommy’s back. He twisted
his head and bit into the mattress. Warm, sticky blood ran from the wound.

  Danielle and a nurse called Kate walked into the room. The nurse studied Tommy for a moment. ‘It looks as if he’s having a—’

  ‘Number Nine… Number Nine… Number Nine,’ Tommy chanted.

  The nurse shook his shoulder. ‘Tommy?’

  ‘Number Nine… Number Nine… Number Nine.’

  Danielle gawped at her brother, eyes wide.

  The nurse shook him harder. ‘Wake up, Tommy. Come on, you need to wake up.’

  Tommy’s eyes moved back into place. Sweat glistened on his face, and his hair was pasted in strands to his forehead. He stared at the nurse, lips moving silently.

  ‘Tommy?’

  He leered at Kate. ‘Do you wanna fuck me?’

  Danielle backed away as if his words might be contagious. ‘Why’s he talking like that?’

  Kate shook her head. ‘Come on, Tommy. Wake up. You’re in hospital. It’s all right.’

  He answered by licking his lips and turning onto his front. The bedsheet slithered to the floor. He reached behind him with his good hand and squeezed his bum cheek. ‘Fuck me… Fuck me… Fuck me…’

  Danielle stepped back. ‘He looks as if he’s possessed.’

  Tommy groaned and twisted his head from side to side. In many ways, he was, but there was no priest alive with an ability to exorcise his past.

  Chapter Four

  At first, Tommy thought he was in Heaven and in the presence of angels. But slowly returning to consciousness, he realised the angel with red hair was familiar. And the other one was dressed in a pale-blue nurse’s uniform.

  ‘Nice to see you back with us,’ the nurse said. ‘We lost you for a while.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You had another blackout,’ Danielle said. ‘You scared the hell out of me.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Kate checked his temperature. ‘Thirty-eight degrees. A little warm. Would you like a glass of water?’

  Tommy nodded. His throat was parched.

  ‘Do you remember anything?’ Danielle asked.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Your eyes shot back in your head, and you said I am… I am… I am.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘I went and got the nurse, and you started going on about number nine.’

  Tommy opted for a lie. ‘I don’t remember.’